Introverts unite! It’s OK to keep to yourself.

Posted by on Oct 3, 2016 in Noobness | 53 comments

What is an introvert?

Webster says it’s a shy, reticent person.  I had to google reticent because I’m obviously brilliant, and it means not revealing one’s thoughts or feelings readily.  You learn something new every day!  So, yeah that describes me.  Hi, my name is Amanda and I am an introvert.  Please do not approach me to make small talk, as it’s pretty much my nightmare situation.

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What does being an introvert mean?

It basically means that we prefer to keep to ourselves.  Introverts aren’t really very party friendly, and prefer to have a small core group of friends rather than a whole bunch.  Introverts don’t really like to go out and do things, preferring to stay at home and be comfortable.  Personally, I get very stressed and uncomfortable in new situations.  I am perfectly happy being at home, on Facebook, or reading a book.  I do like to game on the PS4, and it does mean talking to new people, but it took me a really long time to get where I am now.  2 years ago when I started playing Destiny, I literally would not talk in a party lol, it was just way to weird for me and definitely out of my comfort zone.  When my husband and I started playing, I would only talk to him in the party, then after we had played with a work buddy of his for a bit, I would talk to him once in a while.  Fast forward to now, and I happily chat for hours with my Destiny friends, and the occasional new person.  I overcame that particular fear, but it would be OK if I didn’t!  There’s nothing wrong with an introverted person, it’s 100% OK if you don’t want to go to parties, or new places because it’s scary; however, you might be missing out on something that you could really love in life.

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My husband and I went to a marriage retreat sponsored by the Army a few years ago.  It was an amazing opportunity, we left the kids with some close friends and it was just he and I for the weekend.  The weekend was spent in classes, which had a speaker that actually talked about Introverts and Extroverts and how they impacted a relationship.  We found out what we already knew, which was that we are both introverts, and it makes for a very interesting couple lol.  We don’t talk much, I mean we talk about the kids, and we do love to have discussions on things that we are both passionate about, but we are not small talkers, so there’s a lot of comfortable silence between the two of us.  While in the class, the speaker asked a lot of us to stand and talk about things and let me tell you, I literally was sweating, dry mouth, nervous.  Just the thought that I might be called on to stand up and talk made me feel sick to my stomach.  Luckily, my husband has become used to talking in front of people, because of his time in the Army, so I deflected everything to him!  We did leave that retreat with a lot of really great info, and I realized that I really am no good at social situations. It’s not something I really have an interest in working on it though, I’m ok with being socially awkward.

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Is being an Introvert a bad thing?

Short answer.  Absolutely not.  Every single person on this planet is different, and that is absolutely OK.  Should you get out of your little introvert box and maybe try and socialize more?  Maybe.  Doing new things is good for the soul, and if you feel that you should interact with people more, then go for it!  If you feel that you are perfectly content with not be a social person, cool!  You do what you are comfortable with, keeping in mind that you might be missing out on some fun parts of life by staying in that box.  I’m fine with being in my box, but I do get lonely at times.  I have online friends, but as a military wife, we move a lot so I don’t have many IRL friends.  Once in awhile I get the urge to go to dinner or a movie with a girl friend, but then I have this little voice in my head saying nah, you’ll be much happier if you just stay at home and watch some more Doctor Who.  I usually have to be prompted to go out, and there have been many times where I have literally felt relief at a cancelled event.  I get myself all kinds of anxious when I think ahead about having to socialize.  Going to any kind of event is a big ball of stress for me.   Oftentimes that stress manifests itself into anger or irritability and I have to find a way to diffuse it without coming across as a mean person.  Sometimes I fail and people get the wrong idea about me, because really I’m nice, sometimes it doesn’t seem like I am, but it’s just because I’m so uncomfortable at the time.  Those that take the time to get to know me, find out that I’m actually awesome.

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Don’t take it personally.

There are times when my phone rings and I have to put it to voicemail.  I just don’t have the mindset to talk on the phone.  It’s an introvert thing.  Even talking on the phone is socially stressful!  It doesn’t matter if it’s a family member, a close friend, or a business.  I get stressed at the thought of having to carry a conversation.  I literally get anxious when I know that I have to make a phone call, it seems silly but it is what it is.  I prefer talking via text or messaging, as it’s MUCH easier for me to express myself through typing words rather than speaking words.  So anyone out there that is NOT an introvert, don’t take it personally if someone avoids your calls or invitations out.  It’s possible that the person you’re calling or inviting is just not socially adept!

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Work through it.

While I am totally fine with being socially awkward, I’ve decided to really work to extend myself outside of my introvert box.  I have made the huge decision to become my own boss and sell LuLaRoe, which means I have to get over my fears!  I’m absolutely going to have to get out of my comfort zone if I want to be successful.  I’m going to have to learn how to chit chat with people, face to face and not be awkward.  I’m not really sure how to not be awkward, but maybe I’ll just keep being awkward and people will find it endearing.  I don’t know what’s going to happen but I do know that I’m going to work hard on face to face interaction through selling a product that I love and hopefully everyone that I sell to loves.  It’s going to be hard, it’s going to be so stressful and I’m certain that at the end of each day I’m going to be exhausted while at the same time feeling so fulfilled, hopefully!  I’m a proud introvert, but I have aspirations to do well in my job so I’m going to bust my booty to get myself out of that box.  There are a ton of introverts throughout history that have made a huge impact on the world, Dr. Suess, Rosa Parks, Steven Spielberg and Mark Zuckerburg (thank you so much for creating my favorite social platform!)  J.K. Rowling is an introvert, and she’s pretty much the most amazing author ever.  These people did it, so I can do it too!

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I’d love to hear from those of you that are introverts, or even those extroverts out there, if this opened up your mind to some of the differences between us!

For those that want to proudly display your interovertness, here’s a cute shirt! Comical Shirt Ladies Introverts Unite Were Here Uncomfortable and We Sport Grey XL

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53 Comments

  1. I’m so glad someone said it. Most of the time, talking to other people makes me cringe!

    • Small talk is so hard! Thanks for stopping by!

  2. Interesting insights. I’m an introvert and my hubby is an extrovert – being married has taught me tons about myself! I have started saying “honey, I need introvert time”

    • Haha, yes! Please just leave me to myself for a bit! Thanks for dropping in!

  3. LOL I saw the funniest t-shirt: Introverts Unite! We’re here, we’re uncomfortable and we want to go home! 🙂

    • That’s such a great shirt! I definitely need one in my life. Thanks so much for stopping by!

  4. Love!

  5. I can relate to all of this!

    • You’re not alone, that’s for sure! There’s tons of us introverts out there! Thanks for hanging out!

  6. I feel like I’m a bit of both, probably because I’m a Gemini though lol!

    • I think we can all be a bit of both, I’m comfortable with my introvert tendencies, but I can be an extrovert too, with enough long island ice teas! HAHA!

  7. I am more like introvert but due to my job I need to be extrovert. I can relate to what you said here.

    Rita | http://www.styleroundtheclock.com

    • Oh that’s a tough one! I bet when you get home you just mentally shut down lol. It’s so hard to be something that isn’t just comfortable for you! Thanks for stopping by!

  8. I used to be such an outgoing person but the older I get the less I want to be around people so I can totally relate.

    • That’s because the more time goes by, the more people suck! Did I just type that? Whoops, lol. Thanks so much for stopping by!

  9. I agree, but then again I fall on the extrovert introvert side. As an artist I have to speak about my art and network yet I prefer to be alone.

    • See, this is exactly what I will be dealing with once I start selling LuLaRoe. I adore the clothes, and I want everyone else to adore them too, so I’ll have to come out of my shell and network and talk about it. Then when I’m done, I’ll be back in my shell, nobody talk to me lol. Thanks for stopping by!

  10. I like this. I’m a huge introvert. I don’t mind being alone.

    • Being alone is awesome! No one to tell your you’re wrong! lol. Thanks for reading!

  11. Could not agree more , there is ted talk i think on power of introverts that is also very inspiring 🙂

    • I’ll have to check that out, thank you!

  12. I have always agreed that I am introvert. But i wish I am extrovert.

    • You don’t have to be an extrovert to come out of your introvert shell a bit. Just take baby steps each day and eventually you’ll be talking to everyone you meet! Thanks for stopping by!

  13. After I read it I started thinking that I’m a introvert:D

    • And there’s nothing wrong with that! Give me a bag of starbursts and Netflix or a good book and I’m in introvert heaven lol. Thanks for stopping by!

  14. I am an extrovert for sure, so its always interesting to read from the other side…

    • Thanks so much! I’m here to entertain!

  15. Introvert high five from me. I can stay at home for days quite happily. And I want one of those t-shirts Kari saw.

    • High five! From a safe distance, with no eye contact… I’m going to edit the post to add a link for that shirt!

  16. Interesting read as an extrovert

    • Thanks Ben! I’m glad you enjoyed it!

  17. I totally get this, I’m right there with you! Thanks for sharing.

    • You’re so welcome! Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment, I really appreciate that!

  18. I am not necessarily socially awkward, but definitely an introvert – which is incredibly difficult homeschooling two children and having a very clingy toddler…we are working on it! I am an INFJ, so I am working on strategies to make life a little less chaotic for myself!

    • I am SO socially awkward, but I’ve just accepted it lol. I home-schooled my oldest for 2 years and literally never met another person that home-schooled. I’m working on getting out of this box! Good luck to you!

  19. I have a little social anxiety. If I am in a large crowd I feel really nervous and nauseous, especially if I have to speak in front of a large group. I wish more people would take the time to understand introverts.

    • Public speaking is the stuff of nightmares! The more you do it, the easier it becomes though, so hang in there!

  20. I related to this so much! I woudn’t say I’m a full on introvert, but I’m more introverted than extroverted! It’s awesome to see someone talking about the subject so thoroughly. Introverts unite!

    • Thank you! Hopefully people will understand a bit more that sometimes people just don’t have it in them to socialize, and it’s ok!

  21. So glad to see someone writing about this topic! I really related to this seeing as I’m more introverted than extroverted, although not completely introverted. Great job!

    • Thanks for stopping by!

  22. My grandfather was an introvert and only joined conversation when he felt his opinion would add to the conversation. I am more outgoing, but there is nothing wrong with being introverted.

    • Yes! We love to converse about things we are passionate about and things that we think might help others! Thanks so much for stopping by!

  23. Yep! Keep the small talk far, far away…

    • Right?! Thanks so much for stopping by!

  24. Am more of an introvert but get extro when necessart, I havena post like that on my site about how they feel… you can check it out.

    http://www.lexhansplace.com/2016/03/the-struggles-of-introvert.html?m=1

    • I’ll definitely give it a read, thank you!

  25. Haha love this. I’m an introvert as well!

  26. Love this! I am such an introvert and we can be so misunderstood!

    • It’s so true! Sometimes people just don’t get that it’s hard for some to just carry a conversation!

  27. Love it ! I am somewhat of an introvert and I can relate to this

  28. I’ve always been a kind of reserved person, but I’m not nearly as shy now as I used to be. I still get nervous sometimes, though!

  29. I think I”m an introvert at heart but have been able to adjust for work and other purposes to accommodate social situations. I can be on the phone or addressing a crowd, making new friends, and even be in circumstance relatively comfortably with complete strangers…but, it takes a lot out of me and I always have to re-fill afterwards. It’s not really me up there/out there. I tend to keep my true self tucked away. 🙂

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