5 ways kids are tiny little jerks.

Posted by on Sep 22, 2016 in Random cool stuff | 58 comments

So, I have 4 kids and I love them madly. Unequivocally love them. That being said, there are times where I genuinely would like to put them on top of an elephant and smack it’s butt. When they come to me, and they love on me and they give me hugs and kisses then everything is so sweet. Then they argue with each other about what the actual definition of the word defecate is, and seriously I don’t feel the love. Here’s 5 things that my children have done that makes them jerks… let me know if you can relate.

  1. I keep their bathroom stocked with toilet paper, I mean obviously I would not want them to be without toilet paper and have to improvise, that’s just not a good idea at all, so I make sure that they always have toilet paper under their bathroom sink. Does it occur to them to check under there when they run out? Nope.  Obviously if there is no toilet paper in their bathroom, the next logical move is to go to MY bathroom and take the roll that is on my holder. Friggin jerks.
  2. While we are in the bathroom, we can talk about the shower curtain. It’s a very confusing device, and one just absolutely cannot figure out whether the curtain should be in the tub or out of the tub when showering. The answer is obviously out of the tub, because flooding the bathroom is fun and an easy way to clean the floor.
  3. I love when my kids call me, we chit chat, we laugh and then when the conversation is over, I so sweetly say “I love you”, and then… silence. Don’t hang up on people. Jerks.
  4. I’m guessing that my children assume we have a house elf, as they rarely ever throw away garbage. I’m pretty sure that they think that the house elf just comes along behind them and takes care of whatever mess they make. I mean, I guess technically I’m the house elf, because I do go behind them and clean it up, but I yell while I’m doing it, because yeah… I’m a yeller.
  5. Why are my kids obsessed with knowing ages? They are constantly asking me how old I am. Listen kid, I’m whatever age I want to be! Stop saying I’m 45. Jerks.

5 ways that my kids are jerks. I could keep going, but then I would just be whining. I can’t wait until they are all older, I’m already planning my revenge of waking them up multiple times a night and then super early in the morning. On the weekends. Yes, I’m diabolical.

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  1. Ahh, finally something that makes you normal to me. Love it! I thought it was comical with Alex being at home all day with me now. He actually turned to me one day last week and said, ” Is this really what you do all day?” “Yes”, as I continued cleaning…. I think it finally clicked.

  2. OMG love this post. I’ve said numerous times, young human animals are oftentimes …animals.

    • It’s so true!

  3. dogs > kids

    • Haha, sometimes I totally prefer my dogs.

  4. Hilarious. And, sadly very relatable to me. lol Pretty sure my kids think it’s their job to torture me with all sorts of these types of diabolical little methods.

    • Honestly, I think they have little team meetings to see what they can do next!

  5. Ha, ha! No human kiddos at my house, but the cats are convinced that any clean laundry they can access is meant to be their personal sleeping mat. Thank goodness for lint brushes!

    • Cats are just as diabolical and jerky as kids lol. Thanks for stopping by!

  6. Funny!! I too am a tortured soul and had three boys, a year a part that on ‘jerk’ days I wanted to send back!

    • 3 boys a year apart?! You’ve had your hands full! Thanks for commenting!

  7. Funny. Yes, kids sure do ask a lot of questions! The good thing is that curiosity is healthy!

  8. I was hooked with just the title of this post! So funny!!

    • Thank you!

  9. So. Freaking. True! Hilarious.

    • Thanks so much!

  10. LOLO this post had me cracking up! The joys of little monsters!

    • Yeah, they’re joyful alright lol.

  11. This was so funny! I remember struggling with the shower curtain and accidentally flooding the bathroom when I was a kid too!

    • My 12 year old does this on a constant basis. It drives me bonkers!

  12. LMBO!!! I’m a grandmother now, so well…. I almost enjoy these moments haha

    • Haha!! Diabolical grandma!!!

  13. Ha, yes. My kids love to call me old.

    • Why are they so mean to us? Thanks for stopping by!

  14. LOL cute post and thanks for being honest 🙂

    • Thank you!

  15. A bit scary I have to say. I’m preparing for the first. Eeek

    • While the jerk moments are aplenty, the sweetness makes it all worthwhile. Congratulations!!

  16. This is so relatable, you are spot on lady.

    • Thank you!

  17. Yes to all of this! I used to say my son was a jerk all the time. Luckily they get older and become less so. My son is 14 now so “did you put the dishes in the dishwasher” and “did you put on deodorant” are on constant loop in my house!

    • My 15 year old is leader of the jerks lol. I love him madly though! Thanks for stopping by!

  18. So funny! Totally true, my kids are grown up and they are still jerks in some ways.

    • I mean, I guess we can all be a jerk sometimes lol.

  19. You’re so right in that kids can be awesome one minute and unbelievably frustrating the next. I’d like to say it all gets easier as they mature but, honestly, our two teen boys (excuse me, young men) are sometimes more challenging and annoying now, not to mention opinionated! In the end, it’s all (relatively) good. After all, we parents have our moments, too, unfortunately!

    • I have a teen and an almost teen so I feel you on this as well! It’s hard to remember that they are old enough to have their own thoughts on things now!

  20. Hahahah yes #1 is spot on in my house mine are little jerks too!!!

    • Seriously, just check the cabinets!!!

  21. LOL you have made me laugh ! Thank you

    • You’re welcome!

  22. Omg! I love this post. My son is still two but while I am reading this I could imagine what i am going to go through in near future… but I already can relate some things you mentioned here with my husband. LOl


    • Oh my goodness, the stories I have from when mine were 2! They just get jetliner as they get older!

  23. LOL! Number 2 is our family all the way! RRRR! LOL

    • It’s so frustrating! Just put the curtain in the tub!!

  24. Lol. too funny!!

    • Thank you!

  25. LOL, very funny post! I have 2 teenagers and they’re great kids except when they’re bickering. Ugh. But time goes so fast and soon they will be off on their own so I’m trying to enjoy every moment.

    • Ugh, the bickering! That’s a source of jerkery as well! Thanks for stopping by!

  26. The trash! What is up with the trash! I am constantly picking it up all around my house…they must think we live in some sort of large trash receptacle…or the dump…

    • How hard is it to go to the trash can?! Lol. Thanks for commenting!

  27. Very relatable! Really- what’s their obsession with ages?!

    • Seriously! They constantly ask how old I am.

  28. I don’t have kids yet (definitely not planning on it anytime soon) but this made me laugh!

    • Well when you do, be prepared and maybe keep the toilet paper out at eye level so they won’t steal yours!

  29. Love this. I don’t have children yet, but it did make me laugh. Toilet paper is always a topic of argument even with adults! (The whole over or under thing lol). Thanks for the morning laugh!

    • Definitely over! Always over!!!

  30. This was thoroughly entertaining! I also definitely remember stealing my parent’s toilet paper too! LOL

    • That’s terrible! Your poor parents lol. It’s so frustrating when I know I just put a fresh roll on the holder, and then I go to use the bathroom and IT’S GONE! GRRRRR!!!!

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